The Truth About Motivation (And Why You’re Probably Chasing the Wrong Thing)
One of the most common things new clients say to me is this:
“I just don’t have the motivation.”
Or:
“I wish I was more motivated like everyone else.”
They look at people who train consistently and assume those people are wired differently. More disciplined. More driven. Better at life.
That’s not what’s going on.
Regular exercisers are not super motivated
Most people who train consistently are not bounding into the gym full of excitement. They’re not endlessly hyped. They’re not immune to tiredness, stress, bad nights’ sleep, busy jobs, or family life.
And yes—sometimes they actively don’t feel like training.
The difference isn’t motivation.
The difference is that they’ve removed choice.
They’ve built systems that make training non-negotiable
The people who “always manage to fit it in” have usually done some very unglamorous things:
They’ve blocked time in their diary and treat it like an appointment, not a suggestion
They’ve arranged childcare in advance
They’ve committed financially
They’ve put accountability in place (often a personal trainer)
They’ve stopped relying on how they feel on the day
In other words, they’ve made it harder not to train than to train.
Once that structure exists, motivation becomes largely irrelevant.
Accountability beats willpower every time
Let’s be honest: relying on willpower at the end of a long workday is a terrible strategy. When you’re tired, stressed, and hungry, the sofa will always win.
This is exactly why I had a personal trainer for over a decade.
Not because I didn’t know what to do in the gym.
Not because I lacked knowledge.
But because it was the one system that guaranteed I would train that week.
I’d booked the session.
I’d paid for it.
I had a relationship with the trainer.
Walking away meant cancelling last minute, losing money, and letting someone down. That friction mattered. It stopped me from “just heading home” when work finished.
I didn’t need more motivation.
I needed fewer escape routes.
The irony: motivation shows up after you start
Here’s the part people miss.
Once you walk through the door, motivation usually follows.
Sessions are rarely miserable. There’s often laughter. Progress becomes visible. Strength improves. Mood lifts. Energy picks up.
You leave feeling better than when you arrived—often by a long way.
That’s why people stick with it. Not because they’re endlessly disciplined, but because the system gets them through the door, and the reward keeps them coming back.
Stop blaming yourself for a systems problem
If you’re telling yourself you “lack motivation,” I’d challenge that.
What you probably lack is:
protected time
external accountability
clear boundaries around your training
a setup that doesn’t depend on daily willpower
That’s not a character flaw. It’s a design issue.
Motivation is unreliable.
Systems are not.